M H C
FROM: SWATI MHASE PATIL, IAS.
FROM : WELKNOWN SINGERS, ANIRUDH JOSHI AND RASIKA JOSHI.
HAPPINESS PROGRAM BY ARATI SURYWANSHI, -- ANIRUDH AND RASIKA JOSHI.
FROM: JYOTSNA BALAJIWALE, NASIK.
5. FROM : DEEPTI KARALE, NATUROPATHY EXPERT, MUMBAI.
6. FROM: SEEMA NARVEKAR, PSYCHOLOGIST, MUMBAI
7.FROM: DR. VARSHA PATIL, GYNAECOLOTIST AND OBSTRATICIAN, MUMBAI
Just before somedays, on 20th of March "World Happiness Day" was celebrated by United Nations and the whole world. I was very curious to know about our position as "Happy country" in the world. You can read the whole report on the website below.
When we understand our ranking in the world on happiness, it's not a very good story. As if we in India are actually completely in dark and as if we don't know anything about the concept of happiness at all. Or are we constantly engage ourselves in different other things than happiness? Or are we ignorant about it? are we facing very drastically important things/situations than the feeling of happiness in our country? are we forgotten that the happiness, glad, joy, curiosity, taking interest in new things, kindness, laughter, humour, fun, cheerfulness, joy, delightful, glee, glory are also feelings and they have a major role to play in our lives?
Do we wake up with unhappy feelings? Do we have financial worries all the time? Are we sufferring from the choosing appropriate choices of our futures? Are people in our country supposed to be doing different other things than what they do?
Being a Clinical Psychologist, Emotional Intelligence Consultant and Family therapist, I would like to check with my own clients data. I have a feeling that there is a definite increase in the percentage of the clients who are sufferring from depression, frustration, divorse, relationship problems as between spouses, among families, in offices and between partners, among siblings, in the schools and various other professions.
We will be certainly looking into the data gathered at 'Mindful Heart Consultancy', and also will be sharing different opinions of citizens from various walks of life and performing great positions in their own professions/businesses/services. Their take on this will be shared as well.
OBSERVATIONS AT MINDFUL HEART CONSULTANCY:
At mindful heart consultancy, We decided to categorise our clients in six different categories, as per their requirements and services offered in last three years. All No.s are in % of clients in that year.
1. Anger management
2. Frustration in life
3. Facing challenges in selecting careers
4. Sturggling to have purpose for life.
5. Difficulty in expression of happiness and other important emotions.
There is definite increase in the Total no. of clients of all the above categories, also we can easily observe that categories as depression, Anger management, Having purpose for life and difficulty in expressing the feeling of happiness are increasing every year. In terms of Frustration and facing challenges in selecting career, we can also observe increase in the year 2016/17.
I can understand there are limitations to this data. Because this is the data of one consultancy. But still it gives a picture of the society. Whether it is matching with the global observations, YES. Google data shows that every year cases of depression are increasing.
Still the further research on above report can be done, may be later that will be discussed.
WHAT IS HAPPINESS?
For me happiness is something which we experience by two ways.
One way is, we experience happiness as an effect of something that we think or do. For example, 1. we completed our journey without any problem so we are feeling happy. 2. I could sing a song as per my own idea so I felt happy.
Another way is when we are in our own "happy state of mind." It may be sustainable virtue for some people and may not be sustainable for others. Looking at things through the lense of happiness. Happy state of mind helps people to accept the facts and vices. It helps us to manage ourselves to reach to a golden middle point of two completely different things than each-other.
The first ever Theory of happiness has been putforth by Aristotle. According to him, “He is happy who lives in accordance with complete virtue and is sufficiently equipped with external goods, not for some chance period but throughout a complete life.” -- Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics .
Most of the times there are things around us they are means to lead us towards the happiness. As money, power, success, good relationships.
When something take place to achieve any of these, we face struggle and feel unhappy.
We In India might be taking time to bounce back on the path where we supposed to be.
Do we do things for ourselves or for others? does that matter here?
Yes, to attain our own happiness we need to do things for our own self, and we as Indians we are doing them for other people more than ourselves. We try to make others happy and in that process we ourselves remain unhappy. We call it "sacrifice" when it comes to all Indian women and also men who are looking after their families and not doing anything about their own life or passions.
We do get happiness when we see people around us are happy, and when we fed them well, and do thousands of other things for them, but are we ready to look for different various creative ways to live life with what we want in our lives? are we ready to accept the fact that we are not achieveing actually what we feel to achieve? Are we ready to accept the fact that we are struggling at the space where we need to explain others about our own state of mind? and express about what actually we feel and want to do in the moment or in the future?
Does the data above as shown in the graph explains the truth and puts some light upon above questions?
I think yes, the data about Depression cases and Anger management cases, Difficulty in Expression about their own feelings with others and living life with purpose show rise and that answers all above questions.
Question in front of us was if we know the answer of " WHAT" -- what is happening in our life? and also if we know the answer of " WHY" to the certain extent, why it is happening in our life? then do we know the answers of " HOW". And we found that we actually struggling with answers of HOW?
How can I bring that happiness in my life back again? What I will have to do? While giving a thought on this we at MINDFUL HEART CONSULTANCY decided to have a goal this year as " LET US SPREAD THE HAPPINESS." We connect it with our gift of this year. Every year we give gifts to our clients and people we know, which is aligned with our goal and mission we want to do as we are in emotional intelligence consultancy and family therapy.
WHAT IS MINDFUL HEART HAPPINESS PLANNER?
We want to initiate the process of happiness and want to give people some direction towards it. Our thought process took us to create this MINDFUL HEART HAPPINESS PLANNER 2019. And my clients, friends and many many people appreciated it like anything. We have taken this initiative to help people create happiness in their lives. And then that will be spreaded over to other people by them.
Only feeling happy doesn't help, that is not longlasting, but when people are engaged with the feeling of happiness and connect it with their own passions that helps. MINDFUL HEART HAPPINESS PLANNER 2019, gives us an opportunity to choose various happiness activities/deeds at daily basis as we start planning for that particular day.
When we try to plan we also have a look at the happiness activity written in that date. Then it's our own choice whether we want to take up that activity ahead on that day or not, or some other day, we can also decide whether it is in our bucket list? You can also share with your near and dear ones who may want to do something about it, or just by reading the activity in that date itself can help you in navigating your unwanted feeilngs or start a day with a new energy. That can help us in sustaining our happy state of mind. I think that matters a lot.
We, me as (original idea is mine) with my interns and colleagues took almost two complete months to bring on to paper, we were wishing to give to people as Mindful Heart Happiness Planner.
One of our well wisher gentleman have sent this picture who has mounted it in his office. We feel glad when people are using it and taking life seriously happy.
Here are some overwhelming responses of people who are sharing their thoughts on Happiness and MIndful Heart Happiness Planner 2019. Please check in .....Part II.
CEO, Mindful Heart Consultancy
When we, Me and Priya, invited our friends to write about their experiences and perspectives on Emotional Balance, we had a theme in our mind that is, "NAV DURGA PERSPECTIVES ON EMOTIONAL BALANCE". But we had to change it to DURGA PERSPECTIVES, Since we got an overwhelming response. So Glad to share Various Perspectives here in this blog.
A BIG THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS EVENT SUCCESSFUL. ENJOY READING AND PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT.
ALL THE WRITERS JOINED FROM VARIOUS PLACES IN THE WORLD.
For me, achieving Emotional Balance is nothing but reaching our own mindful heart. I believe, that a mindful heart is one who feels 100%, understands 100%, with 100% awareness of being in the present. Once that is achieved, then it becomes easier for a human being to connect the present with the future to step up the ladder of success.
When I was working with an institute before, I attended a meeting, wherein, my colleague and I were given one project to complete. When we started working on the project, we realised that we were having a hard time achieving it. My colleague was looking at it through the lens of performance while I was looking at it through the lens of detail. Hence, since we didn't have a common approaches to a common goal, our process was that much tougher. When we tried to look at it again, we found that, both our thoughts were important, both our intentions were the same as we both wanted our project to be done wonderfully. But our ways were completely different. Both the ways have their own assets to leverage and at the same time they also have their own flaws. Rather than indulging in confrontation, we decided to have a meeting.
While thinking about both situations, we found that:
--Working on a project with more details gave us new insights and ideas towards it. Hence, we might struggle to achieve the project as we wanted it in our own way, in the given time-line.
--At the same time, when we work with little more leisure and freedom, it is good, since we work with joy. But again, there is a danger of not being perfect, or leaving important aspects unacknowleged.
So, how to achieve what we want to achieve? And how to seek the Balance?
What did we do in the middle of this Banter; and could we reach to the answer of Balance?
We both of us , decided to have a meeting, When both of us were discussing it, we decided that, we needed to answer the question, why we were behaving like this. And we started thinking upon the question; what was affecting our balance?
What we brainstormed is the answer of the above question.
We reached a few facts:
1. We are unable to do it as expected because we have suddenly stopped giving a ear to each other, as if we don't know how to use hearing ability.
2. One thing we found that, we were getting hijacked by our own emotions. As if we were stuck with a Fevicol over there. No one wanted to move from that space.
3. Another thing we understood is that, we were reacting as if we were tied or we were working from our default modes.
4. We also found that we have developed a pattern. And not only this situation but also other situations we want to perform the same way.
5. Our empathy for each other suddenly reduced.
6. Our goal shattered, no coordination, synchronization and no motivation to achieve what we supposed to achieve.
7. Decision making capacities were on hold. They were actually not working that particular time, and even if they worked it was not for common good.
8. And we were very far from understanding the consequences about the situation.
We have discussed many other things but these were the main points which I feel important to place here.
Emotional Balance, or balance of any thing, takes place when two things come together with all their good effects. But it can take place only when we understand the imbalance. When we decided to minimize the flaws and work towards a common purpose, we started seeing the light, hope, various other options, and ultimately SUCCESS. We need all the above things to reach the balance. And we need both the parties to move towards it, have action towards the balance.
The answer to reach the emotional balance is to become mindful, look closely towards the situation and thinking from heart.
What happence when we apply our mindful heart?
1. With this 'WISDOM' is added into our final decision.
2. We develope a differenct perspective for Our final decisions, regarding our relationships, our work, our family situations, our social situations.
3. Our reaction turns into response.
4. Our overall Health improves.
5. Our Emotional well-being improves.
6. We become smarter than before with our emotions as well as our decisions.
7. We become more able to be in our own present moment awareness.
8. We are more able to understand our consequences and connect our present with our future. And step up on the ladder of SUCCESS.
Researcher, EQ Consultant,
C.E.O. Mindful Heart Consultancy
Fort Mumbai, email@example.com
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As you know dear, I always call you with some different names and you exactly know that I am calling none other than 'YOU'. Today, in this middst of your life where you want to fly above and more, I want to call you with this three "A"s. Hey! My Almond, Apple and Amygdala. Very weird right. But yes, for me it has quite a deep meaning to it. It denotes the place your "KARMBHUMI", the University of California,Davis. With the Almonds and Apples of the land which has different varieties and different people around, you have taken a next step to bring those specific changes in your life that is closely connected to Amygdala. You could break the pattern. Love you for that re.
When we had gone to drop my daughter to University of California Davis, in 2014, my daughter Rahi started her Under Grad courses at UCD with a lot of dreams in her eyes. And every year came with a new energy, new information about her 'Self-Discovery', becoming a part of a lovely 'Taiko team' of the UCD, Art director of 'Bakuhatsu Taiko Dan', the another year came with, contesting an election in the UCD, and becoming a 'Senator', being a senator working on various teams and meetings with extraordinary people at 'UCD' and 'Sacremento', then starting her own club, the idea of Start up hub, where she and her friends were reaching out with many new people and their ideas, and created her own club called as 'Start Up Hub', inviting youngsters to come to the group, attend their workshops to pitch their ideas, connecting them with various agencies to move further in their own path of future. Receiving an special accolade with the Bachlors degree in "International Relations" and that is, "Inspiring Aggie Award", that made the tenure at UCD yet more beautiful, versatile and dynamic for Rahi Vijay Suryawanshi and all of us as her immediate family.
The skills she was displaying every now and then were amazed us. She performed in Taiko as one of the directors and visited and participated in various show-case programs, one point of time, she sensed that the show case is not happening, she met with all her colleagues and had constant meetings with them and with the ignited fire which contagiously spreaded among all the friends of her Taiko group and they started having their show-cases. Wow! the same kind of leadership qualities she kept showing every now and then.
Contesting an election was not an easy decision at all. Especially when she wanted to start her own group (Party) called, "Be Spoke" and contested the election, giving talks and interviews on UCD TV and Radio. She kept making people proud about her work, and about the teams she was working with. Today she is a completely different person altogether than she was at the beginning at UCD.
A best planner, A decisive person, even in the most difficult time of her life, best at humour, Extremely lively, A Singer, A Dancer, A Taiko player, Relationship expert- whatever happence she always wanted to save her relations with people, Emotinally Intelligent, Bravely struggles for what she wants from her life, not just writing about you because you are my daughter, but I am really proud of you my dear. And needless to say all our blessings are always there with you to continue in your path of future. Constantly managing all 4 GPA and making a position in Deans list are the things regularly happening. How do you manage to do all this together? I feel proud of you my Chika, looking forward to see your new transformed side in application with many International Organizations in future. Love you loads. And Wishing you a graceful, enriching, all good news awaited Birthday!!!
Long back I have written couple of Articles on Parent-Child Relationships and they have published on my blog here. I have a big no. of readers and they are around the globe. I got a call from a well known Media gentleman, and he appreciated my write ups, also he liked the topics and the way I have written about it. He also wanted to share them in media. I thought It will reach to more people and more parents, many families will be helped.
By working as an EQ consultant and Family Psychologist I always wanted to do something applied and solution based. So tried my best. If any of you like my these blogs I am sharing links with you all, Please give your comments. and if ever you like my interview you can give your comment here on this write up.
The interview has been published on following News Papers and Magazine.
1. The link for the BS Business Standards:
2. The link for the India Today:
3. The link for the Deccan Chronicles:
The points covered in the interview are:
1. Creating 'There for you feeling' improves self-esteem and overall growth.
2. Empathising with children doesn't mean that let them do what they want to do but rather understanding their emotions.
3. Let us stop burdening children from unrealistic expectations.
4. LIsten to our kids carefully and nonj-udgementally.
5. Be there when they need your support.
6. Avoid reacting immediately to your child's actions but take a pause and rethink and respond rather than react.
Feeling Glad that Good newspapers and magazines have taken Cognizance of my work as a Emotional Intelligence Consultant and Family Psychologist.
Also thanks to the very Alert journalist. Thank you for reading my blog and understanding the importance of the share and topics which he felt are needed to be reached to many parents and people.
Please drop in and give your comments. Waiting for you.
Mindful Heart Consultancy
We at mindful heart consultancy wishing you happy new year with this unique concept of " Happiness and Emotional Wellbeing Jar."
My dear friends, let's transform this coming year one moment at a time with Happiness and Emotional Wellbeing. Me with my family and the staff of MIndful Heart Consultancy, wishing you a very happy, properous and emotionally wellbeing year to you.
What is happiness and emotional wellbeing jar?
It is any kind of Jar you have or you can afford to have for you. It can be any empty jar lying at your place. Any new jar. You can keep this jar at your office as well. It might looks like this.
If you are in our list then you might have recieved it from our office already. This is our third year to create a unique gift for all those who are our well-wishers. It's a gift for Diwali and New year together. First year we have created a "Travel Kit." and Second year we have created " Happiness and Emotional Wellbeing Seeds of life."
Thank you for your appreciation for our unique concepts that motivated us to bring this unique gift to you. This concept first time introduced by Elizabeth Gilbert and later by many people one of them is Mommy Potamus. They have created Happiness Jar. I loved this concept and taken forward it with addition of emotional wellbeing in to it. I feel that with this we are also actually bringing emotional wellbeing towards us. By opening the jar, We understood that our life is amazing and we can select a wonderful moment among all happened from the notes collected in the jar and we begin to think and feel about that event and we actually that time navigating from unnecessary,unwanted, low feeling or thought towards emotionally healthy thought and feeling. That is how we bring emotional wellbeing towards us.
The basic idea : Every day you add a note to your happiness and emotional wellbeing jar that describes a moment that makes you happy, motivated, and brought smile on your face as,
1. Your happiest moment of the day.
2. Something you are grateful for,
3. A note from a loved one.
4. A quote/ lyrics you liked.
5. LOL moment,
6. Notes from your kids about special moment spent with them.
7. Memories worth saving.
8. Surprise Gifts.
9. Accomplished goals.
10. Daily Blessings.
11. Motivating thought.
12. A word of Appreciations.
or any important thing took place in your life brought a simle on your face.
Write it down, Put a date on it, and toss it on the Happiness and Emotional Wellbeing Jar.
When to Open: " Happiness and Emotional Wellbeing Jar"
Some people like to open it before the commencement of the New Year, while others prefer to pop it open whenever life gets tough, Challenging, Strenuous and see how many amazing things happened in the whole year. Which gives a new medicine to live life in a new way. Which will give you an idea that how many wonderful events and lovely situations happened in the year.
With which our emotions, when at times unnecessary get navigated and can bring new energy and joy towards us. We believe that whenever we feel that we are stuck in some emotion or situation or thought we need to navigate and surprisingly this small Jar helps us in navigation of over intense emotion or unneccessary unhealthy emotion/ thought. You can try it out and let us know.
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAVE A EMOTINOALLY WELLBEING YEAR !!
"LE HOTCHPOTCHE" --- The only "Khichadi", from which we can select things easily--- Non other than "THE MAURITIUS".
I know it's little confusing, that, in spite of having a picture of a beautiful Mauritius, posting a picture of a beautiful Khichadi, "LE HOTCHPOTCHE". I felt Mauritius the same way. Pretty, Beautiful, Scenic, Pictureque and Balanced Mauritius is 'le hotchpotche' for me and for all those who agree with me. Recently I had visited Mauritius as one of the Delegate & Presenters from a diverse group of researchers around the globe. At Mauritius, which is the world's one of the paradizes, and it is just 40 by 60 KMs, but it is Multiethnic, Multicultural, Multilingua, and Multicuisine. They say that, when you start your car and till it gets in to it's fourth gear you reach to the boundry of the nation. WOW! we actually experienced it.
It has it all, and at the same time, as we can easily select all the things we added into the 'Le Hotchpotche', before we finish making and eating it. As Carrots, Beans, Tomatoes, Mungfalis, Corriandar, Green chillies, Cashunuts and so on, Same way we can select the beautiful places to visit in Mauritius as, Beaches, Mountains, Gardens, Valleys, Temples, or just a walk in the huge Malls. Each and every thing is just beautiful.
After the International conference, which held in one of the biggest mall hotel of Mauritius, "VOILA, THE BAGATELLE", I was going to come back immediately but since Vijay could manage to come, I could stay some more days in Mauritius. And visited many places. The offbit and common places which I loved to visit are, Pont Natural, and Blue bay, Bagattle Mall, Port louise Market, Catamarine Drive Day & ParaCeiling, Shiva Temple and Paper Trees.
Sharing with you all some pictures here.
The International Conference: We were 22 representatives from all over the world. All of us have given presentations on 1st day of our conference and next day most of the participants had one day tour in Mouritius. Since I could stay longer I coun't join the tour, but I heard that, the tour was also The News on National Radio of Mauritius.
Some loved places from Mauritius.
The Pont Natural: The nature's marvel. The Bridge is created by the Nature. Here the sea is not like other areas of Mauritius like white sand beaches but here the sea is rough yet beautiful with all rocks and ocean.
The Cloudy and Rainy Mauritius:
"Dhaganchi Chadar." i.e. Cover of Clouds. Through this mega cloud we can easily make out that it is going to start raining soon, the shining sea-shore and tiny sun rays are adding life to the whole atmosphere.
The Blue Bay: You can't see any other colour but just Blue. Fresh blue.
The Paper Tree Garden: Paper Tree garden was amazing. I havn't seen any such trees before.
The Huge Rainbow:
The rainbow was so huge as if the whole Mauritius was covered by it. It started from one mountain and was reaching to the other.
The Gunpoint Mountain: It was raining already.
People of Mauritius
My write up cannot be completed without appreciating "People of Mauritius". Thank you Ravindra and Ritu who are in Mauritius for some more years Made our stay fabulous. Had a nice coffee and chocolates at Rajani Ramasuran and Mr. Ramasuran. Thanks to you too because you waited for us though your daughter was reaching to you from another corner of the world.
The gentleman in a white T-shirt in the above picture is Mr. Bhiwajee, his forefathers came to Mauritius 150 years before. While having a look at Vintage cars parked near the Beach, We were naturally walked there to click some photos.
Mr. Bhiwaji became very happy to share his 'Pringle Chips' to us, Felt Indian, with his special offer/पाहुणचार.
In My Own Reflection:
It was our last day of our Mauritius tour. It was a very smooth journey and wonderful visits to beautiful places in Mauritius so far. Each and every moment I tried to remember while seating at the Blue Bay! And suddenly remembered the " special khichadi", i.e. " LE HOTCHPOTCHE", I cooked at my friends Ravindra & Ritu's home. What a lovely stay we had their home! Me and Vijay just enjoyed "Khichadi" so much because we couldn't eat together for almost many 6/7 months, and never ever imagined that, I would be cooking Khichadi in Mauritius for both of us! It was suddenly a very important moment of our life. 'Khichadi', One of the Indian balanced fast food. (Because It has everything in ot it. Carbs + Proteins + Vegetables ( vitamines) + Ghee (fats), and it can be made Non-Vegan as well.)
Same as balanced khichadi, Mauritius is, balanced with beauty and nature and mixed with multiple things, yet, we can see them clearly to select to plan our day! Love you Mauritius!!
This experience of my life was a real eye opener. With this I understood,
what people have to do to get their children educated?
This is a small story of two toddlers, one a little older than the other. Everyday they get ready to go to the castle school in Mussoorie. Their family live and work in nearby place of the school. They don't have money to buy all the amenities and facilities for their children but they have a facility where they can send their kids to learn.
That facility is The Castle School. This castle school is above the small mountain, where no vehicle can go, even the two wheelers and bikes will have to be parked at the ground. And all the children have to climb up everyday to the school, even the toddlers.
It takes 45 minutes to an hour to reach to school. Those of us who live in big districts may send our children to schools which are farther and also may take 1 hour to 2 hours but we have vehicles or the public transport. Here there is no scope for any transport neither private nor public.
They transport them selves with their heavy school bags.
Before and After school they have to climb up and down for at least 45 mins to an hour.
And what did I learn from this?
They were not complaining about it at all. In fact they were enjoying going to school and coming back home everyday. Their teachers also walk up and walk down everyday.
The Castle School, in the below picture behind me on the mountain, inside the trees.
When we zoom it is like this.
The school looks like a castle. So the school is called as Castle School. When I met these two fellows,
I had a lot of questions in my mind, as,
How do they find this everyday trekking experience?
What do they do for sport in the school?
How do their exams take place?
How do they climb up in the rainy season?
What if they couldn't carry their food?
and a lot of them.
But I could not ask them, because they were getting late for their school. So I kept this for next visit.
But what I learnt is that even in the difficult situations we can keep ourselves happy, though we have a lot of complications in our own life, we can still find joy and keep going with it. It gets over.
Please suggest me a question which I can ask them when I meet them next time.
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